Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
