How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i think i have two assholes
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We need a shit load of segways right now
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
