Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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