I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
