So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you would pick up someone in the library
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
