guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
