The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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