he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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