If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
