Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
