I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You smell like stripper and shame
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
