It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
