Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
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I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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