theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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