Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
