If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
