Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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