You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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