There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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