I accidentally burped into my bong.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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