I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
