I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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