I feel great
I just peed on a car
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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