hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
