Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
