I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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