before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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