Yo dont text me then not text me
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
