he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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