Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
