she was so not down for the gang bang
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me