I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
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This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
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Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes