If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
