A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
