marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
