Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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