Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
