Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
