Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize