i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
