Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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