and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
