I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
organizing the empties. That sober.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
