please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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