Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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