Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
