You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
