im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
