hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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