That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
