end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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