didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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