Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
