Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
