i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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