nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Let's get the cat blown out
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
