i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
