You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
