the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Success! We fucked roommates!
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