yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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