he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
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I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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