So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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