in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Your penis caused this!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
